What is Empathy?
It is a winter day in the city of Chicago which entails nothing but brutal coldness running in conjunction with harsh twenty mile-per-hour wind. As a middle-schooler strolling along the Magnificent Mile during my occasional commutes into the city of Chicago, it is clear that there are those who enjoy the luxury of shopping in an affluent city like Chicago. Along the opulent Magnificent Mile, shoppers are frequently seen carrying large bags of clothes and accessories — and might go as far as spending thousands of dollars on name brand coats or purses.
And then there are those on the other side who struggle to make ends meet. Those who are found on the streets do not spend their time purchasing outlandish items. Rather, they make the frigid streets their home not because they want to, but because they need to. They need food, they need clothes, they need money.
As I walked past a homeless man lying on the streets of the Magnificent Mile on a winter day, the ripped four-by-four piece of cardboard that he displayed read “Homeless. Anything helps — thank U.” Next to him was a worn, stainless steel bucket with the words “please help” etched into it. It was clear that the person was dressed in a rather shabby manner; none of the clothing items he wore exceeded ten dollars. The stained, oversized cargo pants and tattered, thin winter jacket of the homeless man contrasted strongly against my royal blue, double-layered winter coat and North Face gloves. Witnessing the man sitting beside the curb, I found myself in a puzzled state, not sure how to proceed: Should I assist him by donating money?
In my encounter with the man on the street, I experienced feelings of sadness and compassion for the man lying on the Magnificent Mile. The feeling of pity and sorrow that I found myself to associate with was merely sympathy. My encounter of sympathy when witnessing the man on the street did not encourage me to ask the individual whether he needed anything. It was simply myself feeling sad for the man asking for money on the streets of Chicago on a winter day. It was me acknowledging to myself I have more than adequate resources, yet this individual cannot afford dinner.
As I stared at him for longer, watching everyone walk past him and ignore his request for help, his dire situation finally resonated with me. My emotions went beyond sympathy: I not only began to feel the misfortunes of the individual lying on the street, but made a choice to insert myself into the shoes of the man asking for money on the streets of Chicago. I sought to understand the distinct and unimaginable condition he was experiencing: constantly having to worry about his financial situation. I sought to comprehend how his homelessness not only threatened his safety, but also his physical, emotional, and mental health.
Eventually, as I approached the man who was desperate for money, I shed my passive exterior and instead, extended the act of empathy. It was during the moment I experienced empathy that I found myself taking action, and donating money to the man on the Magnificent Mile.
But there came a juncture when I realized that empathy is not just inserting myself into another person’s condition — there is ultimately a far deeper meaning behind empathy.
My extension of empathy assisted the person lying on the street — one could assert that I was generous or caring. I was caring and generous; I attempted to insert myself in the shoes of the person begging for money. Ultimately, I made an effort to establish a connection with him by understanding the circumstance he was enduring, in order to extend the act of empathy.
However, the moment from which I saw the individual on the streets of Chicago to when I actually donated money was less than ten seconds. There simply was not enough time to establish a sincere connection between the two of us. The instance of attempting to realize his difficulties enabled me to take action, but in the end, empathy is not completely defined by the brief ten-second instances.
It is clear that whether it’s volunteering weekly, or interacting with new peers, the act of short instances of empathy has enabled me to begin to assist those suffering. From donating to charity or a homeless person, there exists the reality of working to help the lives of those suffering.
Following my act of empathy with the man lying on the street, I find myself pushing further than the short connection that I encountered during the freezing day on the Magnificent Mile. As I move away from brief connections of empathy, and onto meaningful, long connections, the act of empathy becomes far more rewarding for myself, as well as those who surround me.
Through the act of constantly asking questions, we are able to gain multiple perspectives of the world; through the act of listening attentively and respecting others’ opinions, we are able to enact meaningful relationships; and through the act of recognizing and valuing long instances of empathy, we are able to connect with a greater number of people, as well as enact meaningful change.
Whether it’s donating money to a homeless person on the Magnificent Mile or working with those who surround me daily, empathy is a personal responsibility that I take seriously. It is the responsibility of caring for others; asking insightful questions; and respecting others’ opinions that makes empathy a power to carry.
Writer Oliver Wendell Holmes once stated, “To reach a port we must sail, sometimes with and sometimes against [the wind]. But we must not drift or lie at anchor.” Empathy requires more than feeling bad for the homeless man on the Magnificent Mile and trying to understand his condition. True empathy takes my understanding of the situation and seeks to improve or alleviate it. Empathy requires setting aside time and making the effort to volunteer in the soup kitchen, donate clothes, and work at fundraisers. Empathy requires challenges to be taken and new thresholds to be crossed, even if it involves sailing “with and sometimes against” one’s comfort level. Carrying the ability to be courageous — and not resting “at anchor” — by having the capacity to risk experiencing discomfort in trying to understand people, is the responsibility that empathy necessitates.
For me, empathy entails more than the act of brief heartfelt thoughts on the streets of Chicago — it requires me to take action and truly understand someone else’s situation. Empathy is far greater than the instances I encountered on the Magnificent Mile. Ultimately, empathy is working extensively and tirelessly — starting from small acts of benevolence — in order to create greater change for those suffering around the world.
