What I would tell my younger self

I am sixteen years old. I enjoy telling myself that I have learned a great deal about what life has to offer me. Whether it is being a competitive figure skater or dealing with the daily academic rigor of high school, I seek to be better than I already am. I seek to be the best. I seek to have the most friends and participate in the most activities. But, my current mindset would be adrift ten, twenty, thirty years later. What would be the distinguishing difference between achieving an A or an A- in high school or getting a pewter medal compared to a bronze medal in a competition? The simple answer is none.

Being my 16-year-old self, the mindset I carry stems from a position of constant and endless competition. At school, I am one of the over four thousand students, with each seeking to be recognized by their peers and teachers. Each of the over four thousand students carries a desire to be the best student possible, earn the highest Grade Point Average (GPA), obtain the highest standardized test scores, enroll in the most amount of Advanced Placement classes. The never-ending battle to be the best would hopefully disappear once I leave school, but even when I am at the figure skating rink, there is the competition persists. My coach would compare my progress to other skaters’ progress, and see whose is better, other skaters and I would take part in daily “mock competitions” where we would see who would perform better.

The struggle to be the best has been etched into my mind as a sixteen-year-old; if I were to relive my formative years as a child, here is what I would tell myself:

Embrace yourself and be confident

• “Embrace the glorious mess that you are” Elizabeth Gilbert. Whether you’re at school, walking down the streets of Chicago, or conversing with new people, take pride in who you are. Lift your head up high, be proud in every accomplishment you have made. Ultimately, as they say, there is only one you!

Don’t let criticism get into your mind

• “I like criticism. It makes you strong” LeBron James. Instead of letting criticism drag you down, allow it to forge new opportunities and a chance for you to grow as an individual. You have the opportunity whether or not to accept the criticism — ultimately, that comes with knowing who you are, and being able to tune away outside negative sources.

Set goals, and achieve your goals

• “Stay focused, go after your dreams, and keep moving toward your goals” LL Cool J. Whether you want to get an “A” on the next math test or you want to win a sports event, etch that goal into your brain. Let that goal drive the fuel to achieve that goal. Be determined. Be persistent. Just know if you set your mind to something, you have the potential to accomplish it.

Chose your friend group wisely

• “People inspire you, or they drain you — choose wisely” Hans F. Hansen. It is easy to want a large friend group. You want to feel popular. While that sense of popularity is acceptable to have, you must examine who your true friends are. Find friends that have common interests, common goals, and common views and morals as you. Those will be the ones who you can constantly refer to — surround yourself with good people.

Throw away any materialistic items

• There are no compelling quotes out there, but after taking a break from social media for two weeks, I have discovered that it was worth it. In an era of advent technology, it is difficult to leave social media. But, try to get rid of social media (not texting). Take advantage of the relationships that are around you, and try to increase the face-to-face interactions. The lifestyle that comes with no materialistic items is one of freshness and authenticity.

Appreciate the small things life has to offer

• “Sometimes the smallest things take up the biggest room in our hearts” Winnie the Pooh. You may have just experienced a random person holding the door for you — it may seem insignificant, but learn to appreciate the small things in life. There are so many acts throughout the world that go unnoticed and unaccounted for, so start taking notice of the small things that occur in your life.

Empathize

• “The greatest gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy” Meryl Streep. Empathy is not sympathy. It transcends that of sympathy — we learn to place ourselves in someone else’s shoes. We learn to take action towards the injustices that we see in the world. Whether it’s taking action by donating to a homeless man or volunteering persistently at the soup kitchen, you must carry empathy in order to improve the lives of everyone surrounding you.

Just breathe

• Take a moment and just breathe. We live in such a fast-pace world, so taking a moment to breathe is essential to your sanity and well-being. When you breathe, take a moment and soak in your surroundings, and try to ground yourself from the outside action.